I Wonder....

Just two nights ago we received the news from our social worker that our dossier is OOT!! WHOOHOO!! For those of you who do not know what this is…it means our dossier is Out Of Translation and into the review room as we await the LOA.  We were excited to find this out.  It actually means we are getting closer and closer to making that trip to go and bring Shepard home!!

As excited as I was to receive this news…I immediately began to get nervous because of how close we are to going.  Not because of what we’re doing…but more like…How in the WORLD are we going to do this? How in the world will all our expenses needed for the completion of the adoption and for our trip come in? Are we crazy?!?!

Before I go any further…I know I have friends and family members that may question why in the world we’re adopting.  We aren’t rich by any stretch of the imagination.  We live paycheck to paycheck…why in the WORLD do we want to bring another child  into our home…to have another mouth to feed…to have less room for everyone…to stretch our budget even more than its already stretched.  We’re not oblivious to these facts! We KNOW that it may seem crazy from the “world’s” perspective. But we know that we are called to care for the orphan.  This is a way we can do that…a way we can be God’s hands and feet of love and hope to a precious child who NEEDS love and hope.  Will we have to sacrifice a little more on a daily basis…yes.  But having eternal perspective and knowing that we are in this life to make a difference and in the light of eternity…this is a wonderful investment into the Kingdom of God. 

So now that I’ve addressed that we KNOW what we’re doing is God’s heart…even though we KNOW that it is…it doesn’t negate the fact that we see the natural…we see the need that is still there to finish the process of adoption.  In the “natural” eye…it looks absolutely crazy.  With every step closer to bringing Shepard home…we are equally excited and nervous.  Praying God….we KNOW you’ve called us to this…and we KNOW you’re leading us and we KNOW you are going to provide.  But we don’t SEE it with our natural eyes.  Our faith is being stretched daily…all the while we’re asking…are we crazy?!?!

Have you ever seen the movie “Evan Almighty”? This movie speaks so much to me.  It brings the story of Noah into a modern day setting and really helps you realize the step of faith Noah took.  He must have looked CRAZY to everyone around him.  Even HE must have said “ God…you ARE going to make this happen…right??!?”  I wonder if Noah ever got nervous if God was going to flood the land…or even if he would ever get that incredibly huge ark built! That was faith too. Have you seen how big the ark was?!? WOW!!

I also wonder if Abraham as he stepped out in faith to obey God to take his son Isaac to the altar, if he ever got nervous or wondered if God was going to come through.  He still stepped out and walked in faith…and kept moving forward and walked to obey.  But I wonder…did he ever experience nervousness of whether God was going to come through or not?!?

I don’t really KNOW what they felt…but I know what we feel.  I can only imagine that those two men must have felt the same human feelings that we feel when we step out in faith to obey.  It doesn’t always make sense…It doesn’t always look like the easiest or most realistic thing to do in our minds eye.  But those two men were men of great faith! They obeyed no matter WHAT they felt or no matter what others thought. They knew that God had given them a direction and HE was going to take care of it!!

We have a friend that says…”If it’s God’s will, it’s God’s bill”.  I LOVE that! And that is totally what we trust in!! Do we know how this is all going to work out? Absolutely not.  But we know this journey of adoption is one that God has called our family to, and we would not dream of being disobedient to HIS calling and plan. 

We are excited about this journey…and even in the times when we wonder if God is ever going to come through…we are reminded of the great men and women in the Bible who were asked to do things that may have seemed CRAZY to everyone else.  But they obeyed.  We want to be people of obedience!! We don't want to look back on our life and just WISH we would have stepped out and done some of the things God puts on our heart.  In the meantime…we are people who are standing in faith as we walk in obedience!! We look forward to watch just how God is going to unfold His plan.  We just have to let Him lead us and mold us as we walk along this journey!

Sorry this was so long.  It has just been on my heart and I wanted to share.  Thank you all for your prayers, support and encouragement. It means so much to us!!

Blessings,
Mark & Buffi